Raison D'etre
by OhHeyJackTheRipper
Summary: What did a boy with no family, a sadist magician and an ex-assassin all have in common? A reason to exist. Rated M for language, violence and later chapters.
1. New x And x Old x Friends

Darkness. Pain. Suffering. A twisted Pierrot smile. Crimson eyes. Blood. Spiders dancing on silken webs, taunting. Jokers and thieves in the night. Blood. Death. Agony. Hate. Shattered dreams and broken hearts. Screams of torment in the dark. Blood. Blood. Blood.

Kitana let out a shaky breath as the boat heaved and swayed on the violent sea. Thunder boomed in the sky, shaking the wood as men groaned in agony, their faces green with nausea. A young boy raced about, tending to them with water and comforting words. A kindness she had never known and didn't understand.

A man in a suit rested casually in the corner, chewing on an apple and watching over the rim of his circular glasses, completely unaware of the unhinged, hooded being sitting on the floor, her back against the wall of the room. Until a moment ago she had been resting. And then the nightmare had set in - a memory from long ago.

A blonde her age reclined in a hammock reading - a one time friend from her past who, like the others, paid her no mind. She preferred it that way and hoped that she would remain anonymous until the ship reached it's anchorage. It would be a painful memory for both if her identity was revealed now.

"Are you okay?" the young boy asked as he squatted before her, "Do you need water or anything."

She shook her head and opted for silence, like the other three, this storm unfazed her. The men it affected were weak and deluded. If they couldn't survive a storm like this, they were unfit to take the Hunter Exam.

"You three." the captain's voice reached her ears, "Wait, you four. Come with me." The boy, the man in the corner and the blonde reading all followed the captain out, Kitana echoed their steps quietly several paces behind out of habit. She stood beside the blonde from long ago and listened patiently as the captain questioned their reasons for wanting to take the Hunter Exam.

Gon - the twelve year old boy wanted to find his father, a hunter who had abandoned him to the care of another.

Leorio - the one in the suit wanted money, however Kitana could tell there was something more than that behind his eyes.

She already knew why Kurapika was there - revenge for the slaughter of his clan. But when the captain turned his gaze to her, she knew she wouldn't be able to keep her identity secret, not if she wanted to continue on.

She felt their gazes as she lifted her hood and let her short, choppy, dark purple hair loose.

Beside her, Kurapika gasped quietly, "Mai..." she heard him whisper, calling the name she'd abandoned over a decade ago.

"My name is Kitana," she began, "And up until recently I was working as an assassin."

"Why do you want to take the Hunter Exam?" the captain asked her curiously.

"I'm tired of killing." was all she said. The captain nodded in understanding but Leorio was the one who spoke,

"You say you're tired of killing but you do know hunters kill too, right?" he asked her.

"Do you really think you should be one to question others motives, Leorio?" Kurapika replied before Kitana had a chance to.

"That's Leorio-san!" he growled again in annoyance, "At least my reason is realistic!"

"Money can't buy class, Leorio." Kurapika replied completely ignoring Leorio's first comment. Kitana could feel the suited man's anger from where she stood so what he said next didn't surprise her.

"That's it." he said in a low, dangerous voice, "Outside, now. I'll end the pathetic Kurta line right now."

Kurapika's anger flared, "Take that back right now, Leorio!" he hissed. Though she was calm on the outside, Kitana felt a flicker of hate burn inside her at Leorio's remark. She hadn't been associated with the Kurta clan for years, however despite leaving them of her own free will, she still felt loyal to them for all they had done for her when she was on the verge of dying. Hearing someone speak ill of them pissed her off.

"Leorio- _san_." was all the older man said before he disappeared out onto the deck of the ship. Kurapika followed him instantly leaving Kitana, Gon, the captain and the deck hand who seemed like the only other person able to sustain against the ship's heaving.

"We should stop them, right?" the deck hand asked the captain but it was Gon who spoke.

"Let them fight." he said surprising everyone, "Mito-san says that to resolve a fight, you have to understand why the other person is mad. Let them understand why they're angry."

Kitana sighed and headed for the door, "I'll make sure they don't kill each other." she told them. She understood and she was sure Gon and the captain did too - but it was obvious Leorio had been speaking out of frustration for not being given the respect he was owed and whether Kurapika was oblivious to that, or knew and just didn't care was his own problem. She wouldn't interfere in their fight so long as neither one was going to kill the other - or rather so long as Leorio didn't try to kill Kurapika.

The rain was cold and stung as it hit her face. The wind whipped her hair to and fro, tugging harshly like a child who didn't know his own strength. She folded her arms and watched as the two men faced off, unconcerned of the weather or the waves washing over the deck of the ship. The hatred between them created thick tension strong enough to make any normal person back away, but Kitana stood firm and watched. Before the fight could even begin though, rogue wind rocked the ship and shook loose several of the sailors tending to the mast, one of which was the skinny deck hand from before. Unable to stand against the powerful gust, it sent him flying over the edge. Leorio and Kurapika instantly forgot their fight and moved to save him. They ran to the rail and jumped, clinging to the side so they too didn't end up in the water but they were too slow. Without thinking, Kitana loosed the wire she was known for killing people with and aimed it at both Kurapika and Leorio's waists so neither would fall. She was about to help the deck hand too when a green flash zoomed past her face and dove in after them.

She sighed again as Leorio and Kurapika grabbed hold of Gon's legs and pulled him and the deck hand back onto the boat. She retracted her wire and slowly wandered over to where the four of them sat on the deck catching their breath.

"Are you crazy?!" Kurapika chastised, "You could have died!"

"He's right!" Leorio agreed, "What would you have done if we didn't catch you?"

Gon just smiled brightly up at them, "But you did catch me so there's no problem."

Kitana chuckled quietly to herself; This little boy was certainly interesting.

"Thank you for saving me." the deck hand puffed to the boy.

"I couldn't have done it without these guys." Gon said and looked to Kurapika, Leorio and Kitana.

"Thank you." the deck hand said as he stood. Kitana resumed her usual countenance and walked past him.

"Don't thank me, I didn't do anything." she said and headed back inside. She'd had enough happy feelings for the night. Of course she was glad that everyone was okay, but she would never accept praise when it wasn't required. Seeing Kurapika again had also stirred some unhappy memories and she wanted to get away from him as soon as she could. It irked her that he was going to be taking the Exam, but it was to be expected. If he wanted to find the Phantom Troupe, becoming a hunter would make it all the more easier than aimlessly searching for them. Of course that didn't necessarily mean he would pass the Exam. He almost didn't even qualify because of his pride.

She sat down and leaned her head against the wall trying to calm her thoughts. A voice she knew well laughed in her mind; _What's this? Running away again, are you? That's just like you. You run from everything, never staying one place too long, never getting close to people. You even though becoming a killer would solve your problems but you're running from that too. Now you want to be a hunter? Pathetic. You know you'll only end up running away again. Maybe not at first, but give it a few years and you'll be in this position again._

"Stop it." Kitana whispered to herself but the voice only laughed again; _Admit it, you were shocked to see him here. Thought you'd cut your ties, didn't you? Thought that if you saw him again, he'd hate you. Or maybe you just hoped he wouldn't remember you. But you knew he would, that's why you hid your face, isn't it? So he wouldn't see you and call you that name...Mai._

"Stop it!" she slammed her fist into the wall and the laughter faded.

"Mai?" She looked up, ready to stab the apparition of her demons but the person in front of her was no ghost. Kurapika sat down in front of her, "Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?" she asked hoping he hadn't seen her display.

"Why did you say you didn't help us?" he clarified, his blue eyes searching hers.

"Because I didn't." He gave her a look,

"I know you used your wire to hold Leorio and I out of the water." he said, "I felt it." Kitana averted her gaze, she really didn't want to have to explain herself, least of all to him.

"What do you want?" she asked, allowing her voice to become cold but Kurapika didn't buy it. Instead he smiled warmly at her, "I want to talk. I haven't seen you in a long time, Mai."

She gritted her teeth, "That name is dead, Kura." The girl named Mai had died a long time ago, Kitana had made sure of that.

"Not to me, it's not." Kurapika said grabbing her hands gently, "I was so happy when I saw you. For the first time, I felt like I wasn't alone anymore."

She pulled her hands free quickly and stood, "The girl you knew is gone. Mai is dead." she told him with a cold stare, "We're not friends, Kurapika. You don't know me."

"What happened to you?" he asked as she walked away from him again.

"Things you'd be better off not knowing." she replied softly. It had hurt to say those things to him, but it had hurt less than she expected. Kurapika was the one person she could never get close to. Perhaps Mai could have, but not Kitana. Not anymore. She was a killer, a cold, empty tool with no soul. She had no business trying to make friends, not with him, or Gon, Leorio or anyone else. Kitana could not and would not have weaknesses.

 _See, running again. That's what you do. Run away when things get too complicated and hard for you and push away those who care about you. Your family, your friends, that boy - they're all the same. Don't you get it yet?_

"Get out of my head." she said softly and dug her nails into her palm, hoping the pain would drown out the voice.

 _It's my head too,_ Kitana _._

* * *

"Hey, hey, Kitana." Gon's cheery voice reached her ears and she looked down from the hammock she was lying in, "You're going to come with us, right?"

"Where?" she asked dully.

"To the Exam place." Gon replied, "You're still taking it right?"

"I guess." she replied and rolled out, landing lightly on her feet. The ship had docked several minutes ago and Kitana was still trying to decide her next move; stay in Dolle Harbor or continue on to Zaban City. She probably would have just stayed if Gon hadn't come ask her. She followed the young boy off the boat and waited for him as he spoke with the captain. She figured Leorio and Kurapika would stay with him too for the time being, and so would she though she would probably end up ditching them during the Exam. It was nothing personal against them, she just didn't want anymore liabilities in her life.

"The captain said that there's a short cut to the Exam site if we go to the big cedar tree." Gon said as the four of them stared at the map.

"The note I got said the Exam would take place in Zaban City." Kurapika said.

"Zaban City is in the other direction, how would that be a short cut?" Leorio asked shaking his head.

"Still, I don't think the captain would give that information without a reason." Kurapika said tapping his chin. Leorio groaned and picked up his suitcase,

"Well I'm getting on the bus." he said, "You guys coming?"

"I'm going to go to the cedar tree." Gon said and without another word began walking away. Kurapika sighed and followed him aswell leaving Leorio and Kitana.

"You're getting on the bus, right?" he asked her. Kitana shrugged and followed Gon and Kurapika; the hunter exam wouldn't be so easy just to take a bus to the location. And Kurapika was right - the captain wouldn't give them information without a reason.

The four of them walked for an hour before coming to a seemingly empty back street far removed from the bussling, packs of people roaming around. Kitana had been following at a short distance behind Gon, Kurapika and Leorio, a habit she'd picked up during her training to tail a target, when suddenly the three of them stopped.

"I don't get it." Leorio said, "Where is everyone?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Gon, "There's plenty of people here." Just as he finished talking, a door opened and a group of masked people hauled out a booth with a little old lady sitting in it. Kitana's shoulders dropped - another test it would seem.

"Exciting mind-boggling two choice quiz!" the old lady announced earning a sigh from Kitana. Was it really this important to weed out applicants? Surely the exam itself would do that three times over?

"I will ask you a question and you must answer 1 or 2. Say anything else and you will fail." she explained just as Kitana felt the presence following them since the ship creep closer.

"Sounds easy enough." Leorio said confidently.

"It does, but it also depends on what she'll ask." Kurapika replied.

"Let me go first then." a new voice suggested. Kitana watched out of the corner of her eye as the man walked past her and shoved Kurapika and Gon out of the way, "What do you have to lose?"

Leorio looked as though he wanted to protest, so Kitana spoke before he could, "Nothing. Do as you like."

"Hey, hey, hey." Leorio said quietly to her, "What are you doing?"

"He's been following us since we left the ship, letting him take the quiz first will benefit us." she explained.

"How?" Gon asked curiously. This time Kurapika answered, "For one it'll give us an idea of what to expect. If he wins, so be it. But if he loses, he won't be able to get to the location and we won't have to worry about him anymore."

"He's right." Kitana added, "Just let him go."

"Men have taken your mother and true love hostage. Who do you save? 1 for your mother, 2 for your love." the old woman asks him. The man thought for a moment before answering; "1. "

"Why?"

"Because you only have one mother. You can find love again." the man responded earning a cry of disagreement from Leorio.

"What kind of question is that?! You can't answer something like that." he yelled in frustration. Kitana glanced at Kurapika who shared her look - that was exactly how the questions were designed. There was no answer.

"You may pass." the old woman said and allowed the man to continue down the road.

"This is ridiculous!" Leorio exclaimed.

"You just have to tell the old woman what she wants to hear." the man said with a wink, "It's that easy."

"Tell her what she wants to hear. Is he for real?" Leorio muttered once the man had gone on ahead.

"Are you ready for the question?" the old lady asked with a sly smile.

"Be quiet." Kurapika told Leorio, "We're ready." Kitana was sure that Gon had also figured the quiz out but it was Leorio she was worried about. If he answered, they would all fail.

"Your children have been kidnapped and you can only save one. 1 for your daughter, 2 for your son. Who do you save?" the old lady asked. Kitana kept her mouth shut as did Kurapika and Gon. Leorio on the other hand wandered over to a pile of broken beams and picked one up, swung it a few times to test it's weight, but otherwise remained quiet.

"5, 4, 3..." the old lady began to countdown their remaining time, "2, 1! Time's up!"

Leorio cried out and charged at the woman, holding the beam high above his head, ready to strike her down. A move that surprised Kitana - she never would have picked him to beat up an elderly lady. Fortunately, Kurapika moved to intercept, shattering the beam with his linked bokken swords.

"Stop!" he yelled, "We gave the right answer!" Leorio stepped back, "What?"

"Silence. You said so yourself, you can't answer a question like that because silence is the answer." Kurapika explained, "Do you get it now?"

"Silence...?" Leorio said quietly and then bowed to the old woman, "I'm really sorry about my outburst."

She just laughed, "It's fine, I took this job for that reason."

Suddenly Gon sighed, "It's no use, I can't think of an answer." Kitana blinked at the boy, she was sure he had figured it out.

"You were still thinking?" Kurapika asked. Gon shook his head, "No, I was just wondering what I would do if that situation ever happened. But I can't think of an answer."

He was right, they were taking the Exam to become hunters and there was a high chance they would one day be in a situation that called for an unfair answer. Kitana had been placed in a situation like that before - being forced to choose between two impossible choices. Who would live, who would die. That was one reason she simply refused to have liabilities like that again.

A vision of a blooded face twisted by horror, pain and accusation flashed in her mind and she shivered. She hadn't forgotten him, she would never forget him. It was a memory burned into her soul - what occurred on that fateful day. The day Mai had died and Kitana had been born.

"Kitana?" Gon's voice reached her ears and she pulled herself out of the darkness, "Are you coming?" She nodded and followed the three down the hidden passage. They continued walking, all the while Leorio dropped further and further behind as he complained. He was starting to get on her last nerve - if he didn't have the stamina to walk for three hours, how the hell was he going to survive the Exam?

She was about to yell that at him when Gon's excited voice stopped her, "There it is!" She had been told that the old woman had said there was a couple who lived beneath the cedar tree and served as guides to Zaban City. If they could impress them, the couple would take them to the location of the Exam. Just as the old lady had said, there was a cabin beneath the tree though it looked empty.

"Hello?" Leorio called curiously but there was no answer. He shoved the door open and called out again only to be met with a scream. The four of them rushed towards the sound - standing there holding a woman was a Kiriko, a magical beast that could change its physical appearance. Behind the Kiriko was a wounded man lying on the ground. The Kiriko laughed and took off into the forest.

"Please," the man said as Leorio turned him over, "Save my wife."

"Leorio, stay with him. Gon, Kitana and I will rescue her." Kurapika said quickly, earning a scowl from Kitana. She specialized in killing people, not saving them and frankly, she didn't really care if the woman lived or died. She could get to Zaban City without a guide. But still she followed Kurapika and Gon out into the darkness after the beast.

Gon's physical prowess allowed him to chase after the Kiriko more efficiently than Kitana or Kurapika and he had soon freed the woman from the monster's grasp. She fell, hurtling towards the ground as Gon chased after the Kiriko. Kurapika caught the woman and Kitana stopped beside him, wondering what she was even needed for.

"Are you okay?" he asked the woman. Kitana frowned, something wasn't right, she could feel the gaze of someone on her back.

"Stay here." she told Kurapika and went to investigate. He should be able to handle looking after her on his own should anything happen. She followed the feeling through the darkness and ended up in a small clearing.

"I know you're there." She said, "Come out." Rustling came from behind her but she kept her back to it and uncoiled her wire.

"It's just me." came Kurapika's voice, "I took the woman back to the cabin. She's fine now."

"You're pretty clever." she said, "You must have been watching for the start to know that I'm closer to Kura than the others. Good choice."

"I don't know what you're talking about. It's me, Kura."

"Tsk." Kitana said and turned to face the imposter with a devilish smile on her face, "You were doing so well too, splitting us up and all but you really should have picked someone else. The disguise you're wearing never refers to himself as _Kura_ \- he's too proud for that. How many of you are there anyway?"

The fake Kurapika laughed and morphed into a giant, orange fox-bat creature, "How could you tell?"

Kitana put her wire away and folded her arms, "It was simple, you left certain clues to indicate the truth and you made a few mistakes, on purpose or not, it was obvious. I'm sure by now Kurapika and Gon have worked it out too, Leorio on the other hand may not have."

A loud raspy laughter echoed throughout the forest followed by a voice calling someone to them. The Kiriko in front of Kitana laughed as well, "Seems you're right. Go back to the cabin and everything will be explained there."

Kitana did as she was told and met up with Leorio and Kurapika who had already returned.

"So you worked it out too, huh?" Kurapika asked as she joined them. She nodded, "The Kiriko changed into you but called itself the nickname you hate."

"Wait...you two actually knew each other before the boat?" Leorio asked curiously. Kurapika and Kitana changed looks and nodded, "I guess you could say that."

"I bet that's an interesting story." Leorio said.

"And one you're probably not going to hear." Kitana replied coldly with a warning glare to Kurapika to keep his mouth shut. The less people who knew about her past, the better. At the moment there was only two people in the world who knew - herself and Kurapika. That was how she wanted it to remain.

Gon and the other Kiriko joined them shortly after and gave an explanation to what had happened. They were a family, a mother, father, son and daughter, who served as guides for the hunter exam. They would test the applicants to see if they could figure it out, if they could they passed. Due to Gon's superhuman senses, Kurapika's knowledge, Leorio's kindness and Kitana's instincts, the four of them passed the test and were soon traveling towards the exam location.

* * *

 **Ugh, so rushed. Oh well.**


	2. First x Phase

The tunnel was already filled with hundreds of applicants by the time the group arrived. Kitana looked at the tag she'd been given - number 402. Gon had been the last to enter which meant there were 405 applicants all up. She estimated half of those would give up or die before the end of the first phase. Glancing around, Kitana noted that there were more than a handful of strong opponents, but not the chubby man in blue smiling at them.

"Hi," he greeted them cheerily, "Is this your first time?"

"Yeah." Gon replied easily earning a scowl from Kitana. Though she didn't view this man as a threat, she knew there were some who made sport of tormenting rookies.

"Well then, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have since I'm a veteran. This is my 36th attempt after all." the man said sounding far too boastful than he should be, "I'm Tonpa."

"I'm Gon." the boy replied, "This is Kurapika, Leorio and Kitana."

"Nice to meet you." Kurapika said politely as Leorio simply said, "Yo." Kitana was the only one to remain quiet.

"First off, I should tell you that there's a lot of strong people here this year..." Kitana ignored Tonpa's listing and continued to scan the crowd. There was an uneasy feeling growing inside her, and it wasn't from the dangerous looks they were getting. She wanted to find the source but the crowd was too thick.

And then she felt it - murderous intent. Screams of horror came from the crowd and captured everyone's attention. Red clovers floated around one man in particular and Kitana's heart raced. No...he couldn't be here...

"I'll be back." she told her group and pushed through the crowd to get a better look and confirm her suspicions.

"How peculiar..." That voice! Kitana froze mid-step and subconsciously hid her presence, "His arms seem to have become flower petals." She peeked out from behind the tall bald man in front of her to see that a competitor's arms were indeed turning into clovers and disappearing.

"No smoke and mirrors here. Please do take care." the voice continued, "When you bump into someone, you really should apologize." Kitana took a moment to calm herself down as the crowd dispersed once the show was over. The man in front of her moved away, giving her a clear view of the speaker from before. He was tall, muscular and had a dangerous aura, with bright red hair and looked as though he belonged in a circus act.

"Hisoka." she said getting his attention. He smirked down at her,

"Well, well, if it isn't my Queen of Hearts." he greeted her, his voice slid over her skin like a snake, "Fancy seeing you here. Tell me, did they fire you when you failed to kill me or is it that you're simply running away again?"

She glared up at him and he smirked again, "Oh, that one." Hisoka leaned down closer to her, "Have you come to join me now?"

"I came to warn you." she spat back, "If you interfere or get in my way by any means, I will kill you on the spot."

"Oh~ I do love it when you make that face." Hisoka said, his face morphing into twisted pleasure, "It gives me chills~"

Kitana just continued to glare up at him until his smile dropped, "Very well. I'll stay clear of you..." She turned to leave but Hisoka stopped her in her tracks, "On one condition." Kitana gritted her teeth,

"Name it."

Hisoka chuckled behind her, "You will owe me."

"I don't owe you shit." Kitana growled and turned to plant her fist in the magician's face, but he caught her and spun her so her back was against his chest.

"You're forgetting that I'll be denying myself the pleasure of seeing you make the face I love so much. That, to me, seems to warrant some kind of payment in return, don't you agree?" he said, his warm breath on her neck. "I think it's only fair I get something out of this little arrangement of yours."

Kitana sneered at the ground knowing there was no way she could get what she wanted without giving him something in return, "Fine. What do you want, Hisoka?"

He laughed and let her go, "I already told you. I'll do as you ask and stay out of your way but you'll owe me a favour. When I decide to call it in is up to me." he stepped in front of her and lifted her chin, "Until then, just build up that hateful glare for me ©"

Kitana watched him walk away and disappear into the crowd before rejoining her little group. Tonpa was still with them and that only made her mood worsen.

"Oh, I forgot!" he was saying when she took her place next to Kurapika again, "A little something to celebrate our new friendship." Tonpa dug through his bag and produced two cans of orange juice and handed them to Leorio and Gon before getting out two more for Kitana and Kurapika and one for himself.

"Cheers!" Tonpa said as the four of them opened the cans. Kitana brought the can to her lips and watched Tonpa, the corners of his smile twisted into something that reminded her of Hisoka and then she smelt it. The faintest hint of something other than orange juice. Instinctively, she put her hand over the top of Kurapika's can. His lips brushed against her fingers and he quickly lowered the can.

"Tonpa-san, I think your juice has expired." Gon said as the orange liquid spilled from his mouth. Tonpa's face paled and he looked between Gon and Kitana questioningly.

"H-how can you tell?" he asked curiously as Leorio spat out the juice he'd been about to swallow.

"I ate a lot of berries and fruit growing up so I can taste the difference." Gon said with a smile.

"Oh...what a shame. I'm sorry." Tonpa said as a bead of sweat trickled down his cheek. Kitana narrowed her eyes,

"Shame indeed." she said quietly and put her can on the ground. The door into the tunnel rumbled open and Tonpa quickly retreated to greet the newcomer.

"I don't trust him." Kitana said when he was out of ear shot.

"He seems nice." Leorio said earning a short laugh from Kitana,

"That's why I don't trust him. Look around you, Leorio. These people are here for one reason; to become hunters. Do you see a friendly face among them?" Leorio did as she suggested and scratched the back of his neck, seeing her point.

"I'm nice." Gon piped up not understanding the situation. Kitana smiled down at him, "You're different, Gon. I honestly don't think you have a harsh bone in your body."

"Thanks!" he grinned up at her, but she didn't necessarily mean it as a compliment. Sure the boy was special, unique even, after all he had convinced her to stay with the three of them despite not wanting to get too close to anyone, but in a place like this, nice wasn't going to cut it.

"Anyway," she said, "Just be careful who you make friends with here."

She could tell by the look on Gon's face that he already knew that he should be careful of who he trusts but before anyone could say anything else, the other end of the tunnel rumbled catching everyone's attention as the wall lifted revealing a man in a purple suit.

"I apologize for the wait." he said, "The hunter entry period is now over. The hunter exam will now begin."

Kitana followed her little group forward more to hear the explanation of the first phase.

"Before we start the first phase, a final caution; If you are short on luck or ability, you could very well end up seriously injured or even dead. Those who accept the risks, please follow me otherwise please exit via the elevator behind you." the examiner said. Kitana glanced around at the determined faces surrounding her; of course no one was going to leave. Aside from the man Hisoka had attacked, that left 404 applicants.

"My name is Satotz and I am the examiner for the first phase. All that is required of you is to follow me to the site of the second phase." he informed everyone. Kitana raised an eyebrow curiously - that didn't seem to hard, but like most of the tests involved with the Hunter Exam, seeming easy and being easy were two totally different things.

"With that, shall we get started?" Satotz said and abruptly turned to face the opposite direction. He began a long stride and the pack started moving, however it wasn't long before he picked up the pace and soon everyone was running just to keep up with him. Kitana realized then that this was designed to test each applicant's stamina as well as their mental strength. No one knew where the site for the second phase was going to be, the length of the tunnel was uncertain and so no one but Satotz knew when they were going to stop.

Two hours into it, and a portion of the applicants dropping out, Kitana noticed a white haired boy zip past on his skateboard.

"Oi, kid," Leorio called out, "That's cheating! Run like everyone else." The boy ignored Leorio and rested his hands behind his head casually.

"No it's not." Gon said earning a dumbfounded look from the older male, "The examiner only said we had to keep up."

"He's right, you know." Kitana added as the unknown boy dropped back to roll between Gon and Kitana. Kitana almost stopped when she saw his face, there was no mistaking it - he was Silva Zoldyck's kid.

The Zoldyck boy kicked his skate board into the air, caught it and began running along side them.

"Whoa! That was cool!" Gon exclaimed cheerfully.

"How old are you?" the boy asked.

"12." Gon replied easily.

"Hmm, you're my age." he said, "I'm Killua."

"I'm Gon." Gon replied, "My friend Leorio is the one who yelled at you, Kurapika's somewhere up ahead and this is Kitana."

Kitana caught Killua's minute facial twitch at the sound of her name.

"We've met." she said casually and picked up her pace, "Leorio, keep an eye on them will you?"

"What? Where are you - Kitana?!" she heard him call out as she went ahead further to find Kurapika. On the way to the front of the pack she passed a certain magician and slowed for only a moment.

"How do you expect me to keep my distance when you do that?" Hisoka asked as she ran beside him, "Or are you simply making sure I'm not up to anything?"

"Something like that." she replied and scanned the back of the heads in front of her.

"Oh~? You're looking for someone and you don't trust stopping by any of these fools." Hisoka said reading her as easily as a book, "I'm flattered you came to me."

"Don't be. In case you haven't noticed, you've got a sizable space around you. I'm utilizing that." she replied stoically. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Hisoka pout,

"And here I thought you were warming up to me." he said earning a scoff from her,

"Warm up to a deranged psychopath like you? No thanks." she replied thinking that it would piss him off, but Hisoka only smiled.

"You're testing my restraint, Kitana, when you talk like that. I'm inclined to think you're doing it on purpose."

"You sure are twisted if you think that." she replied and quickly increased her speed once again. Kurapika was close to the front of the pack, she had to dart around an applicant who was already starting to slow and fall behind just to reach him.

"Mai, I was wondering where you were." he greeted her coolly.

"I thought I'd keep an eye on Gon in case Tonpa tried something. He's already found a new friend though so I think he'll be fine." she replied conveniently leaving out the fact that Gon's new friend, Killua was an assassin. She caught Kurapika's smile, "You really haven't changed much, you know?"

"What do you mean?" she asked him curiously - she'd changed far more than he realized.

"Well," he began, "You still worry about people even if you act like you don't. Isn't that why you told Gon to be careful and stopped me from drinking that juice? Admit it, you're still the Mai I knew."

Kitana thought about it for a moment; it was true that she did do those things but at the time she didn't really think about it. Perhaps he was right and maybe there was a small trace of Mai still lingering in the shadows. Kitana shook her head quickly, banishing the thought - Mai was dead, killed by Kitana's own hand. Whatever remained of her was just hollow reflections. That was all.

"You're wrong, Kura." she told him, "I told you before, Mai is dead. I may look like her, but I'm nothing like her anymore."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" he asked.

"Stop it." she hissed at him, "Don't try to get inside my head, Kura. You won't like what you see."

"I don't believe that." he argued, "Why can't you just tell me what happened after you left? You said you would come back but you never did."

"I already said you're better off not knowing, just leave it at that." she said harshly. For the first time, she would rather Hisoka's company over Kurapika's at that moment. At least he wasn't questioning her past - he didn't care.

"I can't just leave it and you know that. You're my friend no matter what you say, Mai...Actually, you're the last thing I have anymore." Kurapika told her, "Everything else has been taken from me, I'm not going to just willingly let you go either."

"This isn't a matter of letting me go, Kura, or whatever friendship is still between us. I can't let you in, I can't let anyone in. Not again. I won't put myself in that position and I won't put you in it either." she said, anger getting the better of her. Kurapika smiled again,

"So you do still consider us friends." he grinned, "Alright, I'll stop questioning you as long as you promise to tell me when you're ready." Kitana glared at the feet of the person in front of her, she'd let too much out.

"I can't make that promise." she said softly.

* * *

They continued running for another hour until Satotz finally stopped just outside the tunnel exit. Leorio had stripped down to just a singlet and his pants and Kurapika had followed suit by taking off his tabard. As Kitana glanced around she noticed only a handful of applicants were unfazed by the brutal pace Satotz had made them run.

"Do you think we're done?" Leorio puffed as he caught his breath. Kitana shook her head, "It's doubtful. That was too easy."

"Easy? Were we in the same first phase?" he asked in disbelief. The door rumbled shut behind them, leaving one straggler behind.

"The Numere Wetlands, also known as Swindler's Swamp." Satotz began, "We must cross the wetlands to reach Phase Two of the exam. This place is home to many bizarre animals, many of them being cunning, insatiable creatures who deceive humans and prey on them. Be very careful. If you let them fool you, you're dead."

"Sounds fun." Kitana said quietly as the group mumbled voices of shock. Suddenly a new face appeared from behind the tunnel they'd just left. The man was panting, his clothes ripped and dirty - he looked like he was just in a fight.

"Wait!" he cried, "Don't trust him, he's not the real examiner! I am!" Kitana arched an eyebrow as whispered questions fluttered around the remaining applicants.

The man, using one arm to support himself against the wall, used his free hand to point at Satotz, "He's a Man-Faced Ape - creatures with long limbs and the ability to disguise themselves as humans. They can even-" His description was cut short when two playing cards pierced his chest and head. Kitana's gaze immediately turned towards Hisoka and Satotz who had caught the two Hisoka had thrown at him.

"Well, I guess that settles it then." Hisoka said airily as if he hadn't just tried to kill Satotz, "He's the real one. Examiners are Hunters and thus have heightened abilities."

"Thank you for that demonstration but let me make one thing clear;" Satotz said, his voice mirroring Hisoka's in it's lightness, "Attempt to kill me again and you will be disqualified."

"Sounds fair." Hisoka replied with a casual shrug.

"Man-Faced Apes are just one of the threats within the wetlands; as their physical bodies are weak, they use tricks like that to lure their prey to them before they kill and devour them." Satotz finished saying, "Please be on your guard."

"Aw man." Leorio sighed, his hand on his forehead, "I nearly fell for that."

"We should all stick together." Kitana suggested to her group, even she could admit that none of them would be able to get through on their own, especially considering the fog, "Even if we get separated from the main group, we'll stand a better chance together than alone."

"I agree." Kurapika said as Killua shrugged, "Fine with me."

Satotz began his pace again towards the wetlands and the pack moved with him, however it wasn't long before the fog had split the group. Though Kitana and her friends were, for the moment, still with the main pack, several applicants had already gotten lost and probably killed.

"We should move up." Kurapika suggested, "There's only a few people behind us now." Kitana nodded and the five of them ran faster. Kitana let her mind drift as she kept the people in front of her within sight. The swamp reminded her of a few years ago when she was a little older than Gon and Killua. At the time she was in the final stages of her training and was living in a cabin. The lands surrounding the cabin were much like the wetlands they were running through, only without the trickster beasts. Sure there were carnivorous animals, but they didn't rely on cunning or deceiving their prey. They just flat out tried to kill.

Kitana lived in the cabin for three years with two other trainees, a boy older than her by a year and his younger brother.

"Hey Kitana?" Gon's voice broke her thoughts and she glanced down at him, "Where's Leorio and Kurapika?"

Kitana glanced behind her and saw nothing but fog, "Shit..." Well, they should be fine. Both were strong and capable fighters, "They must have gotten separated. Don't worry, Kura will figure it out soon enough and they'll find their way back. We should get to the front."

The three of them picked up their pace again and started weaving through the applicants. Kitana glimpsed Satotz purple hair and slowed, well at least they weren't lost. Yet she couldn't shake the beginnings of worry building deep within her stomach. She would give them twenty minutes, if Kurapika and Leorio hadn't returned by then, she would go and find them.

Fifteen minutes later, Kitana started to get uneasy. She felt and uncomfortable gaze burning into her back and risked a glance behind her. She scowled instantly - Hisoka was edging closer to them and with him were a group of men looking like they meant trouble. Killua felt it too and nudged Gon who was oblivious,

"We should move up more." the young boy said quietly.

"Kurapika! Leorio!" Gon called out in case the other two had somehow made it back, "Killua says we should move up!"

"Shush." Kitana chastised quickly, "Feel the tension around us, Gon." He blinked his large eyes up at her not really understanding but then Kurapika's clear voice rang through.

"Okay, we'll catch up!" Kitana let out a small sigh of relief, they were close.

"Go on," she told the two boys, "I'll get them and find you." She slowed her pace once again and let the boys run on ahead. Kurapika and Leorio behind them had given her a reasonable excuse to do what she had really wanted to do.

She fell in step beside the magician and let him feel her annoyance.

"You can't blame me for this." he said easily.

"Yes I can." she snapped back, "Your _friends_ are in the way."

"What's this? I thought you were a lone wolf kind of person." Hisoka teased with a sly smile. Kitana glared up at him once more,

"Fix it, or I will." she warned him and disappeared further behind to find Leorio and Kurapika.

"Who's there?!" Leorio demanded when she saw their silhouettes through the fog.

"Relax, will you? It's just me." She said. The two stopped running and gave her wary looks.

"How do we know you're not a Man-Faced Ape?" Leorio asked, narrowing his eyes. She took no offense to his query, in fact she was glad they were taking it seriously.

She sighed and pointed to him, "You're 19." she stated easily lowering her hand and shifting her gaze to Kurapika, "Pairo."

"It's her." Kurapika said quickly before Leorio had a chance to question her further. Any creature taking the form of another could easily pick up on certain cues, especially if their survival called for it, so guessing Leorio's age would have been easy for skilled tricksters, however there was no way they could possibly know anything about Kurapika's past.

"Where's the other two?" he asked her as they started running in the direction Kitana had just come from.

"I told them to go on without me while I came back for you two." she replied, leaving out the fact that Hisoka was causing trouble again. But, as it turned out, she didn't have to say anything when they accidentally stumbled across a clearing in which the magician stood surrounded by those wanting to kill him.

She caught Kurapika's arm, stopping him, "Wait."

"Here's the deal," the one she supposed was the ring leader in all this spoke, "We'll spare your life if you agree to never retake the exam again." Hisoka smirked,

"Hmm, that's fine." he said surprising those around him, "I'm passing this year so I won't have to retake it again."

The men grumbled in annoyance at Hisoka's disregard for their meaning - they wanted him to leave and never become a Hunter.

"Idiots." Kitana said quietly to no one, they were going to die. Just as she had predicted, Hisoka killed the men without even trying and turned his attention to her, Kurapika and Leorio.

"What do we do?" Leorio asked quietly.

"Split up and run. He won't be able to kill us." Kurapika responded as Hisoka neared them, "Now!"

Kitana stayed where she was, Hisoka wouldn't touch her and she knew it, but she didn't bother telling the other two to wait. She had no idea what the magician would do to them after all.

Hisoka smirked at her and flipped a card between his fingers as if to say this was her doing. She glared at him, ready to make a snide remark when she felt Leorio's presence return.

"I just can't do it. This may not be my fight but I won't close my eyes and make a break for it..." Leorio said walking past Kitana. She grabbed his arm and pulled, trying to get him to stop.

"Leorio, don't be an idiot." she said harshly, "He'll kill you." Leorio shrugged out of her hold and kept going,

"That's a risk I'll have to take." he said and ran towards the smiling lunatic enjoying the scene. Kitana closed her eyes, sighed, and said a silent apology to Leorio. Utilizing her skill as an assassin for the first time since the Exam began, she quickly overtook Leorio and put herself between him and Hisoka. Leorio's eyes widened when he saw her but had no time to stop before she used a spinning back kick to knock him away from Hisoka and into the dirt.

"I'm sorry..." she said moving to his side as he coughed, "But I couldn't let you do that."

"Ho ho ho~" Hisoka grinned down at them, "That was amusing."

Kitana froze, sensing a new presence and looked over to where Gon had cast his rod. Before she could act, it hit Hisoka in the face. Kitana tried to restrain the look of horror threatening to emerge on her face - Gon was in serious trouble now.

"Not bad little boy..." Hisoka said rubbing away the mark on his face, "Is that a fishing rod? What a fascinating weapon."

"Hisoka..." Kitana warned him darkly. Though this wasn't part of their deal, if he killed Gon, Kurapika, Leorio or Killua, she would make him suffer.

Hisoka ignored her and held his hand out to the twelve year old, "Allow me a closer look?"

"Circus freak..." Leorio muttered as he scrambled to his feet, "Your fight is with me!" He charged Hisoka before Kitana had a change to grab him and Hisoka moved too fast for her to intercept again. He slammed his fist into the side of Leorio's face, effectively knocking him out. Gon's rage was instantaneous as he ran towards Hisoka, aiming to hit him again with his rod only Hisoka was prepared for the attack and vanished.

Kitana stood and watched, this wasn't a fight to the death. Hisoka was simply playing with the boy, disappearing and reappearing at will to psych him out. It was a tactic Hisoka used often with his victims. Kitana tensed as Hisoka's long fingers found their way around Gon's neck, strangling him as he lifted the boy into the air.

"How wonderful..." Hisoka moaned, a look on his face Kitana knew well, "I really do love that look."

"Hisoka." she said again louder and more clearly just as Gon's body went limp. Realizing what was happening, Hisoka dropped the boy to the ground and knelt in front of him.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you." he said as if it were some kind of apology, "And I won't kill your friend, you both pass the exam." Gon coughed, clutching his throat and stared at Hisoka with sheer horror as the older male walked over and slung the unconscious Leorio over his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Kitana asked the boy while Hisoka slowly vanished, he nodded slowly, "I'm going to go with him to make sure he doesn't do anything. Kurapika's close by so will you be okay until he gets back?" Again the boy nodded and she squeezed his shoulder before leaving to catch up to the twisted joker.

"You're a rather cold woman, do you know?" Hisoka said when she caught up to him, "You attacked this guy to keep him away from me, yet you wouldn't lift a finger to save that boy."

"I knew you wouldn't kill him." she replied, "Leorio on the other hand, I had no idea what you would do."

"Am I really so predictable?" Hisoka grinned. Kitana crossed her arms over her chest, "I know your type, clown."

"Hmm...Well, you have to admit, I'm not entirely at fault for what happened." he said glancing down to her and shifting Leorio on his shoulder.

"I said fix it, not slaughter ten men in one move." she replied coldly. Hisoka chuckled, "You should have been more specific." Despite hating to agree with him, Hisoka did have a point.

* * *

Kurapika and Gon were the last two to arrive at the site of the second phase, and thankfully both made it in time.

"Ugh..." Leorio groaned as he woke up, "What happened?"

"We probably shouldn't tell him." Kurapika said quietly. Kitana was more than willing to agree especially considering she'd kicked him pretty hard. Her gaze slid to where Hisoka was leaning against a tree, arms crossed and eyes closed. Perhaps she could alter their deal to involve Kurapika, Gon and Leorio, she was positive Killua could take care of himself given his upbringing, but quickly dismissed the thought. Doing so would be seen as a weakness and Hisoka was the one person in the world she promised herself she would never look weak in front of again.

Two years ago she'd taken a job to kill him and given what she'd been told, she knew he would be strong but she'd believed herself to be stronger. She was wrong. In terms of physical strength, she and Hisoka were on par. If she'd been impartial towards him, she could have easily killed him without engaging him in a fight - however the circumstances of which her client had spoken of had pissed her off and she wanted Hisoka to suffer as much as possible. In the end, it was Kitana that suffered. Their fight had lasted three hours, resulting in neither winning. Many times he'd left himself open for a finishing move but Kitana was never able to follow through. She just couldn't kill him and he was far too interested in her to kill her...yet, as he'd said.

But that was two years ago and now she doubted whether he had been planning on killing her at all. She knew him well, and as she'd told him before, she knew his type. Hisoka lived to fight and was drawn to strong opponents. While she was sure he was incapable of emotions normal people had; compassion, remorse and love, he did have his own twisted definition of the latter. Strength was an aphrodisiac to him, but instead of lust, it manifested in his desire to kill. Hisoka was dangerous in that sense, but he was fickle. Treasure could easily become trash if he lost interest and it astounded her that two years later, his interest in her was still as strong as the day they'd met. If he was capable of it, she would even say he was in love with her but reality stated it was the enjoyment of her inner torment and her abilities he was in love with. He wanted to make her suffer, break her and then kill her.

Had Mai still been alive two years ago, Hisoka wouldn't have bothered. Then again, Mai was no match for him. Mai had been weak, pathetic and tragic, and while Kitana acknowledged that parts of Mai were still haunting the depths of her soul, Kitana would never allow her to resurface. Not because Hisoka would immediately lose interest in her and kill her outright, but because Kitana knew the consequences should Mai ever return. Only one of them could survive, if Mai came back, Kitana would die. Only when she had finished what she'd started out to do would she allow that to happen and, if such a day came, Kitana would willingly sacrifice herself.

"Hey." Kurapika's light voice danced in her ears, bringing her attention away from the magician and back to him. Leorio had gone with Gon to meet up with Killua, leaving Kurapika and Kitana alone, "I want to ask you something."

"If it's about what we discussed in the tunnel, you can forget it." Kitana responded with a shrug. Kurapika shook his head,

"No. I'm just trying to get an understanding of who Kitana is." he responded, "Gon told me what happened with Hisoka and I'm curious about two things; Why didn't you help him?"

Kitana sighed, until a few hours ago Kurapika, Gon and Leorio had never met, let alone seen, Hisoka before. They had no idea what he was like and what interested him, "I'm not heartless if that's what you're thinking. Gon has something special about him, I know you've seen it too. That's why I didn't interfere. I knew Hisoka wouldn't kill him, he has too much potential."

"But you tried to stop Leorio from going after him?"

"Yes. Hisoka is...Well I'm sure you'll see for yourself during the Exam what Hisoka is. Leorio has the ability to pass, I'm not denying that, but I wasn't sure what Hisoka would do to him if they fought so I tried to stop it before it happened. You've only seen a small portion of what that clown can do, you, Leorio, Gon and even Killua are no match for him as you are now. Maybe in a few years you'd stand a chance, but he wouldn't even break a sweat to kill you at the moment." she told him softly. Kurapika and the others weren't weak, but they were nothing compared to Hisoka.

"Well I guess that answers my other question. You _do_ know him, don't you?" Kurapika asked, his gaze shifted to where Hisoka was still standing.

"I do, more than I care to admit." she replied, "I might even tell you about it one day but for now let's just concentrate on getting through the exam."

* * *

 **For reference Kitana met Kurapika when she was six and left when she was 10. She's 12 and a half when she lived in the cabin and had just turned 15 when she completed the final part of her training to become a fully fledged assassin, and 16 when she first met Hisoka.**

 **While Kurapika is stated as being 17 in the beginning, Kitana is actually a year older than him but was born in October so she's still 17 (Originally I wanted her to be the same age as Kura but certain things happen in the coming chapters and I figured she should probably be 18 or at least turning 18).**

 **Hisoka is still 28.**


	3. Unwelcome x Allies

The second phase of the exam was more or less a blur in Kitana's mind. Originally the two examiners had given the applicants the task of hunting and cooking a meal that satisfied both their tastes as they were Gourmet Hunters. Many of the remaining applicants were dissatisfied with the test and their annoyance only grew more when Menchi, the female examiner, refused to pass anyone, including Kurapika, Leorio, Gon, Killua, Hisoka and Kitana herself who really hadn't put much effort into the entire thing. She could tell just by looking at Menchi that no one was going to pass.

Due to that fact, Netero, the man behind the whole organization of this year's Exam had stepped in and Menchi and Buhara were forced to come up with another test; securing a Spider Eagle egg and cooking it. During this, a handful of applicants fell to their deaths but the reward for those remaining was a particularly sweet one. The egg they had to get and cook tasted unlike anything Kitana had eaten before.

She was still picking at it when Killua approached her on the airship on the way to the site of the third phase.

"Yo." he said sliding up beside her, "Long time no see."

"Want some?" she asked offering her egg to him but the boy shook his head,

"I'm good." he replied, "Why are you here?" The boy was blunt but he didn't mean it in a malicious way, he was genuinely curious.

Kitana shrugged, "Same reason you are." she replied though she would leave it up to him to decide what reason it was.

"You know, I never thought you'd quit being an assassin. You've got a lot of skill." he told her as he gazed out of the window, "My dad was even impressed when Hori brought you to us." Kitana smiled to herself; Hori, her previous master, had wanted to get Silva Zoldyck's opinion on her skills. Apparently they'd made a bet when they were younger - Hori would bring his star pupils to fight with Silva's children, if Hori won, Silva would acknowledge the student and bring them in as a kind of associate. They would be allowed to come and go as they pleased, train within the Zoldyck grounds, use the resources the Zoldyck's had at their disposal and even use the family name if they had to. However, if any one of the Zoldyck children won, Silva would kill the student. Suffice to say Hori didn't often send his pupils and out of the hundred student's he'd trained and passed, only three had ever succeeded. Kitana had come close, very close. But her mind hadn't been strong enough to withstand Illumi and she'd lost. Silva, however, had spared her life. To this day she still had no idea why, but hearing Killua say that his father had been impressed had partially answered the question.

"I'll tell you a secret if you swear not to tell anyone, ever." she said; she'd always liked Killua. Part of her thought of him as the little brother she never had.

"Sure." he replied.

"I don't actually like violence. I had planned to get through the exam without using it but I was naive. It's easy to kill someone and that's what scares me the most. I don't want to kill anyone, I never have, but I'll do what's necessary to reach my goal." she told him. Killua was watching her with those big blue eyes of his and she was sure he was having a hard time understanding her feelings on the matter. He had, after all, been trained from birth to be a human killing machine, but there was a small glimmer of understanding in his eyes.

"What's that?" he asked meaning her mention of a goal. She smiled sadly and stared past her reflection in the window,

"The time when I can finally die." she said quietly. Killua's brows knotted together, not understanding. Of course she wasn't speaking of literal death, but a time where she didn't need Kitana anymore. Explaining that, not just to a child like Killua, but to anyone was difficult. She avoided speaking of her past and to tell him of Kitana's death and Mai's resurrection would just be confusing when he knew nothing of her former life. Perhaps that was why she could relax around Hisoka - he had no interest in who she was. She chuckled quietly to herself at the thought of the only person she could stand being around completely relaxed was a man she hated and often attempted to kill. Ironic when you thought about it.

Killua stood and rested his hands behind his head, "Well, in that case, I hope you fail."

She looked up at him and his impassive face questioningly.

"I like you so I don't want you to die." he said and turned around, "I'm gonna go find Gon. See ya." Killua was the genius set to become head of the Zoldyck family, and whilst he was brilliant at what he did, she knew he never really found any joy in it. He was different from his parents and older brothers, he wanted his own life and friends. She was glad he'd met Gon.

* * *

Kitana was resting in a cabin with Leorio, Kurapika and several others, not asleep but recharging. She hated sleeping; bad memories always found their way into her mind and this was neither the time nor place for them. She had to appear strong and unshakable, even though on the inside she was severely unhinged. A killer who hated killing. It was tragic.

The door slid open, alerting her to a new presence. She activated her Nen and manifested a serious killing intent - it could have just been someone coming in to sleep, but she didn't want to take chances, not when Kurapika and Leorio were here. Netero was busy with Killua and Gon so they were safe.

A hushed chuckle reached her ears, "No need to be so scary."

Kitana calmed herself down but kept her Nen activated just be cautious as she sat up. Hisoka stepped over sleeping bodies and found an empty spot against the wall to sit.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, keeping her voice low so not to wake the others. Hisoka took out a deck of cards and held them up,

"Care to join me?" he asked her. Pursing her lips she figured she wasn't going to sleep anyway, stood and went to sit in front of him as he shuffled and dealt the cards.

"Do you know the rules to Old Maid?" he asked curiously, his eyes never leaving his cards.

"Only if you play without cheating." she said earning a smirk from Hisoka.

"An honest game, then." he agreed, retrieved the cards he'd already dealt and handed the full pack to her, "You shuffle." Quickly checking for any tricks and finding none, she began to shuffle.

"If we're to play honestly," Hisoka said while Kitana dealt, "I suggest a little bet."

"Sure." she replied with a half shrug, "If I win I get to pick a card from your deck."

"To treasure?" he asked with a sly smirk, "How sweet of you." Kitana snorted, "More like just to piss you off. You won't have a full deck anymore."

"Sneaky." he laughed quietly, "Alright and if I win..." Hisoka ran a finger over his lips thoughtfully and he considered the many things he wanted. Since it was just a simple bet, she knew he wouldn't say anything too serious, after all it would mean that their original deal would be off and he liked having something to hold over her.

"Hmm, if I win" he said and held up one finger, "I get one kiss." Kitana almost dropped the few cards left in her hand.

"What?!" she whisper yelled at him but he only smiled.

"We can call it quits if you're scared." he taunted knowing it would push her buttons.

"Tch." she hissed through gritted teeth but then thought better of it and shrugged, seeming to appear unconcerned, "Fine, I'm going to win anyway so it won't matter."

"I like that confidence." he said although, for once, there was no hint of perversion in his tone, "Shall we start?"

By the time they'd both gotten rid of all the pairs in their hands, each only had about seven or eight cards left, the joker being in Hisoka's hand.

"You fascinate me." he said as she reached for one of his cards. Kitana was taken aback at his honest statement and almost forgot to put the pair she'd just received down.

"Thank you?"

"It's frustrating." he continued and reached for an eight of clubs, "Perhaps that's why I find myself unable to kill you despite my desire to."

"I thought it was because we're the same." she replied casually, "Isn't that what you said?" He gave her a look,

"Do you really believe that?" he asked, "We're similar, but not the same, otherwise you'd be just as twisted as I am."

Kitana was unnerved by this side of Hisoka, his blatant honesty was terrifying. She'd had this image of him, of how he represented himself - in her mind he wasn't fully aware of how selfish, manipulative and sadistic he was but hearing him acknowledge it scared her. Not because he knew, but because it made him seem more human.

"I can see you're surprised to hear me say it. Believe me, I'm aware but don't bother thinking that it's all an act. I don't hide my true self, I enjoy it too much." he told her as he put down another pair of cards onto the pile between them. Kitana took a breath and recovered herself,

"I've been curious about something." she said as they continued their game, "What even is your sexuality?"

Hisoka laughed, "Out of everything you could possibly ask me during our honest game, _that_ is what you open with? Ahh, this is just one of the many things that fascinate and frustrate me about you." It was suddenly clear to her why he was saying all this; they were playing an _honest_ game of cards. Hisoka was simply abiding by the rules and being truthful.

"Well, to answer your question I don't prefer one gender over the other. In fact it never comes into consideration in my mind."

"If they tickle your fancy then that's it?"

"Exactly. But if you're asking me whether I simply destroy people and not engage in _other_ activities...the answer is no." he replied, sliding in the card he'd just taken from her into his hand, "But those occasions, of course, were unique."

"Did you enjoy it?" she asked and frowned at her hand; why was she talking about this with him? She didn't even care.

"In a way, I suppose." he replied ignoring her look, "It didn't bring me the same pleasure." Neither spoke again until it was near the end of their game, Hisoka had two cards left and Kitana only had one. If she picked the queen of hearts to go with her queen of diamonds, she would win. However if she picked the joker, she would lose.

"Do you ever get lonely?" she asked him as the question formed in her mind, "I mean, does it frustrate you that no one understands you?" Hisoka's brows arched in surprise at her question and he thought for a moment.

"I suppose I've never thought about it before." his sharp gaze locked onto her, "Do you?"

Kitana looked away, "Sometimes. I'd rather have loneliness than get close to people."

"You're lying." he said, "Part of you wants companionship, I can see it. That's were you and I are completely different. I don't care if I'm alone, my interests keep me entertained. But you - you're yearning for someone to understand you but you won't let anyone in enough to be able to. You're afraid of what they'll see. It's so tragic it's intoxicating."

"I hate it when you do that." she grumbled in annoyance and reached for the card she believed to be the pair to hers.

"Oh, looks like I win." Hisoka said cheerily as Kitana tossed the queen of diamonds and the joker she'd taken from Hisoka onto the card pile.

Crossing her arms, she leaned forward, "Fine, get it over with then."

Again, Hisoka laughed quietly, "You hate when I read you so easily," he said lifting her chin gently and gazing into her eyes, "Because you know I'm the only one who can."

When he had given his terms for the game, Kitana had been mentally preparing herself in case she lost. She had expected to either feel disgusted by it or nothing at all, however her prediction had been totally wrong when Hisoka's lips gently pressed against hers.

She knew he was capable of many things, but gentleness was something she believed he lacked. Once again he proved her wrong. It lasted only a second and she thought it was all just a parlor trick. The taste of his lips stayed fresh in her mind long after she'd abandoned him in favor of checking up on Killua and Gon.

It wasn't her first kiss, there were many times she'd gone undercover to kill a target and had to endure more than that. In fact her first kiss had been Leon, the elder of the boys she lived with once. Leon had been a year older than her, sixteen in their final year together. He was strong, fast and intelligent but he lacked motivation, with eyes as green and as sharp as a cat's. It was his eyes that haunted her steps and scorched her memory. Mai had loved him deeply and had thought they would be together until the end. Mai was naive.

Kitana slid down a wall and put her head in her hands - why was she thinking of Leon right now? Was it because of the kiss with Hisoka, did that remind her somehow of Leon? No, Hisoka and Leon were nothing alike and if there was one thing Kitana was sure of it was her hatred for the magician.

"Kitana?" she looked up at the sound of her name to see Killua crouching in front of her, his hand behind his back.

"Finished your game, did you?" she asked him but Killua shook his head,

"I gave up but Gon's still there. Um..." he glanced down the long hallway to his left, "Can you help me with something?"

"What is it?" she asked glad for anything to take her mind off the card game with Hisoka and Leon. He motioned for her to follow him and they walked back the direction he'd just come.

Killua led her down another hallway and stopped at a small supply closet. Inside, bunched together tightly were two dead men.

"What should I do with them?" he asked her, his eyes on the corpses. Kitana sighed, "What'd they do?"

"Bumped into me then said I should apologize." he said shoving his hands into his pockets. Kitana pursed her lips, "I suppose the easiest thing to do would be throw them out of the airship."

"Yeah, I thought of that. Do you think that Hisoka guy would do whatever he did to make them disappear?"

"Don't get him involved." Kitana said quickly, "Just toss them out, I'll help you." Killua shrugged and grabbed hold of the collar of one of the corpses and dragged him out,

"I just wanted to see it up close." he said simply. Kitana took the other guy and slung him over her shoulder,

"Chances are you probably will eventually." she replied as the two headed towards the emergence door.

* * *

Kitana followed Kurapika, Leorio, Gon and Killua out onto the large circular tower and looked around. They had arrived at the site for the third phase and she briefly wondered whether they'd have to fight each other atop this monstrous pillar.

"Welcome to Trick Tower. Your task for this phase of the exam is to make it all the way down to the ground within 72 hours."

"Ha! That's easy for a profession rock climber!" one of the applicants shouted as he walked towards the edge of the tower and swung himself down. Kitana hummed to herself - there was no way they'd make it that easy. The examiner was leaving something out. She tapped her foot as she thought and looked down curiously. The ground didn't feel the same under her left foot than it did under her right.

A scream of terror made her look back up to where the rock climber was being carried away by a Six-legged Flying Beast.

"Well there goes that idea." Leorio muttered and sat down, "Climbing down is an even bigger nope than before."

"There's got to be something we're missing." Kurapika said quietly and glanced at Kitana, "Don't you think?"

"Check the ground." she told him, keeping her voice low so just her group could hear. They split up and like the rest of the applicants, wandered around trying to figure out the trick to it.

It had been two hours since the third phase started and Kitana sat on the ground chewing on an apple she'd swiped from breakfast. So far at least twenty of the applicants had found trap doors and disappeared. Kitana herself was sitting beside one trying to figure out whether there was a death trap underneath it or not.

"Wondering what to do?" Hisoka's snake-like voice asked her.

"What part of leave me alone didn't you understand?" she asked casually and tossed the apple core over the side of the tower.

"Believe it or not, I'm not actually over here because of you." he said and crossed his arms. Kitana scoffed and stood, wiping her hands on the seat of her grey, tight calf-length pants,

"Lemme guess, you found a door."

"I did. Right next to the one your foot is on." he replied, his gaze dropping to the ground. Kitana huffed,

"Whatever." she replied and put her weight down, the door opened instantly and she fell through, landing gracefully onto the hard ground several meters below. She appeared to be in a small, square room with only one door. Brilliant, she lived. She was about to push the door open when the unmistakable sound of stone grating against stone made her turn around and suddenly Hisoka was in the room with her.

"Oh you cannot be serious..." she muttered in annoyance, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't just kill you right here, right now?"

Hisoka grinned and pointed to something on the wall beside her, "Because you won't get out of here in time if I'm dead." She turned and saw a sign she'd missed in her rush to get through.

It said that the only way to get through the maze was with three people answering a series of questions with X or O. The answers would depend on the majority vote and determine the path they would take. Groaning, she grabbed two of the watched and tossed one to Hisoka before strapping the other to her wrist.

"Guess we'll have to wait for another." she muttered and leaned against the wall. Thankfully they didn't have to wait long for the third person to drop through. He was tall, with short spiky black hair and brown eyes. His number was 24.

"Whoa..." he said as he landed and looked around, "What's all this about?"

"We have to work together using these," Kitana told him and tossed the last watch to him, "To answer questions. Majority vote decides on the path we take."

"Hmm, sounds easy enough. I'm Bran." he said as he and Hisoka both moved to join Kitana by the door.

"Kitana." she replied, "You should probably already know him." Bran glanced quickly to Hisoka and nodded before looking back down to his feet,

"Um, I hope I don't sound rude but I'd rather not get too friendly."

"Suits me." Kitana replied with a shrug, "If it's okay with you both I think it's a good idea not to discuss the questions either. Just vote, no hard feelings if you're the one who's in the minority."

"Deal." Bran said simply and then moved to read the question below the outline of the task, "To open the door press O. To leave it closed press X."

The question was pretty straight forward and all three answered with O. For the most part, they were all in sync, answering the questions together until they came to a room with three doors.

"Well this is interesting." Hisoka said thoughtfully as he leaned over the small podium in the middle of the room, "It says O to agree, X to disagree."

"There must be a mistake..." Bran said, "Are you reading it right?" Hisoka narrowed his eyes at the man as an answer.

"Screw it." Kitana said growing impatient, "Just vote, I want to get out of here as soon as possible."

She pressed the O button and a small screen dropped in from the ceiling. One of half it had an O on the other, an X. Underneath the O was the number two and on the other side was the number one. The screen flashed and changed to show the inside of the three rooms, in each there was a person waiting and then a voice spoke,

"To move forward you are required to fight. Best two out of three - the side with the majority wins. If you fail, you fail the exam. You may use any means at your disposal."

"So basically," Bran said tapping his chin, "Only two people need to fight."

"I'll go first." Hisoka said, his eyes glued to the screen.

"Well that's a guaranteed win." Kitana said quietly.

"What about you?" Bran asked her. She sank to the ground, "I'd rather not fight if I can avoid it." Bran nodded, "It's settled then. Hisoka and I will fight and you'll be the tie breaker."

Without another word Hisoka approached the door on the left and disappeared through. The screen zoomed in on the room as candles lit themselves, illuminating the stone room.

"You should prepare yourself." Kitana told Bran who was watching the screen, "This should be over quickly."

"You seem to know a lot about him." Bran stated as the fight between Hisoka and a guy with scars on his face began. She didn't reply; of course it wasn't uncommon that she would know a lot about a rival but she'd rather not let the nature of the relationship she had with Hisoka come into light. Instead she wondered how Leorio, Gon, Killua and Kurapika were doing. Had they figured out the trick by now? It'd been several hours since she'd seen them so she could only assume they had.

The door Hisoka stepped into soon opened and he rejoined them, "Good job." Bran said although he sounded quieter than before. Kitana figured it was because he'd just gotten a first hand view of Hisoka's power. "Guess it's my turn, huh?"

Kitana smelled blood and looked up at the magician still standing, silently monitoring the screen as Bran disappeared through the door on the right. He had a wound on his side and shoulder.

"Tch." she muttered, "You were over confident again."

Hisoka smirked, "Hardly."

"Hmph, well don't expect me to patch you up." Kitana said and crossed her arms. Hisoka only smiled in response and continued to watch the fight between Bran and his opponent.

Bran's fight lasted much longer than Hisoka's, proving the colossal gap in strength between them. However, he managed to come out victorious much to Kitana's approval and with their group of three winning two rounds, they were able to pass. After several more hours and more tests, they finally reached the final question.

"Press O for the long path allowing all of you through." Bran read aloud, "Press X for the short path, however only two of you may enter." Kitana glanced around the room, various weapons were mounted on the walls and one set of shackles. She figured which option both Bran and Hisoka would opt for. Bran would choose the shorter path knowing that though he stood no chance against Hisoka, Kitana's abilities were unknown to him thus he believed himself to be stronger than her. She had assumed there would be an ultimatum like this eventually otherwise the whole test would have been too simple; that was part of the reason why she'd opted to be the tie breaker, hoping that she wouldn't have to fight.

Hisoka would choose the short path because he knew both he and Kitana would be ten times stronger than Bran and should Bran choose the short path, he would simply kill him, allowing himself and Kitana through.

With that in mind, Kitana pressed X. The screen flashed with three votes for the short path.

"I'm so glad I didn't have to get to know you better." Bran said to her with a smirk, "But I can't believe you picked that option. You do know that you're the one staying behind, right?"

Hisoka chuckled, "Oh I wouldn't be so sure."

"What? You're going to volunteer to stay behind?" Bran asked him incredulously, "Are you two lovers or something? That's pretty noble, man." Kitana fumed; it was one thing to be thought of Hisoka's partner but what really infuriated her was the thought that she needed him to be able to get through the exam.

"I don't recall saying that," Hisoka glanced down to where Kitana stood beside him, "Do you?"

"No."

Bran laughed and held his stomach, "You can't mean to fight me? Someone as small and cute as you?! You can't be serious?! You wouldn't even fight an examiner!"

Kitana closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing as Bran continued on talking.

"Shall I kill him?" Hisoka asked sweetly. Well, at least he had the decency to ask first.

"No," Kitana said quietly and opened her eyes. Bran's laughter caught in his throat when he felt her murderous intent and moved into a defensive stance, only it was far too late. Her wire was already around his throat and limbs. She held up her hand and allowed him to see the near invisible strings.

"It's already done." she said and tightened her grip. The wires went taut and sliced through skin and bone easily. She didn't bother wasting time with trash like him, it was pointless. Bran's head rolled to her feet and she kicked it gently so his face was skyward. His eyes were still wide from the moment he realized he was dead.

"Scary~" Hisoka purred, "Your terrifying aura is giving me chills." Kitana inhaled deeply, allowing her aura to calm and dissipate. She'd lost control. However she was thankful it was in front of Hisoka and not the others. If she'd lost it with them, she would never be able to face Killua again. He was the one person she could never let see this side of herself, the one person who's opinion of her mattered the most.

"Let's go." she said quietly and began walking through the door way that had opened.

She and Hisoka reached the ground floor within three minutes and were surprised to find they were the first ones there. Kitana moved to the far end of the room and sat down against the wall; she wanted to rest and prepare for the next phase before the others arrived.

Hisoka sat in the center of the room and pulled out his cards. Kitana felt his piercing gaze burn a hole through her skin, "Care to join me? I imagine we still have several hours before the next applicant turns up."

She held up her hand, "Thanks but no thanks."

Hisoka chuckled, "Are you scared?" Kitana glared at his accusation; no, she wasn't afraid, at least not of him but she couldn't deny she was worried about what memories would surface if things played out like a few nights ago. It was becoming a habit that whenever Hisoka was involved, unwanted memories would make appearances in Kitana's mind - things she didn't want to remember just yet.

Hisoka shrugged at her silence, "Suit yourself."

* * *

 _Blood. Despairing cries of heart break. Accusing crimson eyes of the dead. A vicious smile of betrayal. Vibrant red against the innocent pale white snow. Fluttering, like the wings of a butterfly, signalling the closing finale. Innocent sorrow, taken too soon..._

Kitana opened her eyes and quickly scanned her surroundings, her heart pounding in her chest and sweat dripping off her skin. She had fallen asleep at a critical time and now the room she was in was filled with more people than before. As she looked at them, their faces all morphed into one that haunted her. She squeezed her eyes closed and willed the world to return to normal, however when she opened her eyes again, her hands were still covered in blood. She rubbed at them quickly and tried not to draw attention to herself.

"It's a dream..." she whispered, "It's just a dream. It's not real. It's not real."

"Hey. Kitana, right?"

Kitana froze, fear lancing through her heart. His voice sounded so familiar.

"I'm really sorry to bother you but I'm looking for my brother. I've been asking everyone if they were paired with him and #44 said to ask you."

"Brother?" she asked willing her voice to stay steady. The man sank to the ground beside her and rested an elbow on his knee casually, "Ha, yeah. He's always getting into trouble. I'm actually kinda worried about him. But I guess that's what big brothers do right?" She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye - he was muscular, tan and had choppy brown hair. His profile looked strikingly familiar, like she'd seen him before.

"Who are you?" she asked outright. He turned and smiled warmly at her, "#67, Tristan Miles. Nice too meet you. My brother's #68, Brannigan Miles."

Kitana frowned, "I don't know someone by that name, sorry."

Tristan pursed his lips, "Are you sure? He sometimes introduces himself differently because of how weird our names are."

Kitana sighed, if helping this guy would get him to leave her alone, so be it, "What does he use?"

"Bran."

For the second time in a matter of minutes, Kitana froze. She knew that name, she never forgot the names of those she'd killed. Tristan must have sensed something because his smile dropped when he saw her face. Her fists shook in her lap and she silently prayed for someone, anyone to save her.

"You know him, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. Please," Tristan said, reaching for her arm, "I don't care what it is, but please just tell me what you know."

Kitana took a breath and swallowed the guilt in her throat, "I-I'm sorry..." she whispered, "He's dead..."

Tristan's tanned face filled with anger and he gripped her arm harder, "How?"

"I-"

"Oh, so you told him. That's a shame." Tristan and Kitana looked up at the new speaker, Kitana's fear fading minutely at Hisoka's appearance. "I'm sure you're aware of the final test, so you should also know the cost needed to accomplish it."

"Y-you killed him?" Tristan asked, his voice shaking with fury and vengeance. Hisoka's sharp eyes slid momentarily down to Kitana and then he smiled, "Of course. He stood between me and my way out."

Tristan was on his feet in a second and aimed a fist at Hisoka's face. Naturally, Hisoka dodged with catlike reflexes and slammed Tristan into the wall, a card against his neck.

"Hisoka!" Kitana cried, clinging onto his arm, "Don't!"

"Are you scared?" he asked her again, his eyes never leaving Tristan.

"Yes! Yes, I'm scared! So stop!" she begged, she couldn't deal with more bloodshed right now. Hisoka chuckled and stepped away, the card disappearing up his sleeve.

"You're so cute when you make that face." he said running a slender finger under her chin and walked back over to where he was sitting before. Kitana let out a shaky breath and wiped the sweat of her forehead. She needed to leave, she needed air. She needed to get away from all the eyes staring at her. Instead, she moved to the darkest part of the room and sat on the cold ground, hugging her knees to her chest.

She'd admitted she was afraid to Hisoka, but what she hadn't said was what she was afraid of. It wasn't him and it certainly wasn't for Tristan Miles. The thing that really scared Kitana the most was her past. The stares of the dead that followed her wherever she went. Those she loved, those she lost and those she betrayed. She was a fool to think she could ever escape them; taking the Hunter Exam only proved that fact but despite that, she was determined to keep going. To keep running in hopes that one day, those eyes would finally leave her.


End file.
